Example:
Unnecessary: It is a truth that is universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
(用两个 that’s，读起来很别扭)
Better: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
-- Jane Austin
注：被动语态修饰的名词通常不须用关系代词。
Unnecessary: In 1970 India dedicated a nuclear power plant near Bombay, which was built with American assistance.
Improved: In 1970 India dedicated a nuclear power plant near Bombay, built with American assistance.
Unnecessary: During this period, Churchill spoke for a nation which was undivided and curiously happy, as it has never been in my lifetime, before or since.
Improved: During this period, Churchill spoke for a nation undivided and curiously happy, as it has never been in my lifetime, before or since.
Unnecessary: Justice theories have a long tradition, which goes back to Plato and Aristotle in the 5th century B.C.
Improved: Justice theories have a long tradition, going back to Plato and Aristotle in the 5th century B.C.
Unnecessary: Shirley Temple’s father blew nearly the entire $3 million that she made by tap dancing which made her famous in the movies.
Improved: Shirley Temple’s father blew nearly the entire $3 million she made tap dancing her way to fame in the movies.
Unnecessary: We told them they were the victims who deserved sympathy the most.
Improved: We told them they were the victims, most deserving of sympathy.
Unnecessary: Only a person who is oblivious* to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.
Better: Only a person oblivious to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.
Unnecessary: Not everyone in North America likes the taste of green tea, whether it contains caffeine or not.
Better: With or without caffeine, not everyone in North America likes the taste of green tea.
Unnecessary: Usually the Washington family married people who were socially better off than themselves, but the second marriage of George’s father was an exception.
Better: Usually the Washingtons married their social betters, but the second marriage of George’s father was an exception.
Unnecessary: In some instances, a letter can take ten days by air and six to eight weeks by ship to reach the person to whom the letter is addressed.
Better: In some instances, a letter can take ten days by air and six to eight weeks by ship to reach its intended receiver.
Unnecessary: It is a truth that is universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
(用两个 that’s，读起来很别扭)
Better: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
-- Jane Austin
注：被动语态修饰的名词通常不须用关系代词。
Unnecessary: In 1970 India dedicated a nuclear power plant near Bombay, which was built with American assistance.
Improved: In 1970 India dedicated a nuclear power plant near Bombay, built with American assistance.
Unnecessary: During this period, Churchill spoke for a nation which was undivided and curiously happy, as it has never been in my lifetime, before or since.
Improved: During this period, Churchill spoke for a nation undivided and curiously happy, as it has never been in my lifetime, before or since.
Unnecessary: Justice theories have a long tradition, which goes back to Plato and Aristotle in the 5th century B.C.
Improved: Justice theories have a long tradition, going back to Plato and Aristotle in the 5th century B.C.
Unnecessary: Shirley Temple’s father blew nearly the entire $3 million that she made by tap dancing which made her famous in the movies.
Improved: Shirley Temple’s father blew nearly the entire $3 million she made tap dancing her way to fame in the movies.
Unnecessary: We told them they were the victims who deserved sympathy the most.
Improved: We told them they were the victims, most deserving of sympathy.
Unnecessary: Only a person who is oblivious* to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.
Better: Only a person oblivious to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.
Unnecessary: Not everyone in North America likes the taste of green tea, whether it contains caffeine or not.
Better: With or without caffeine, not everyone in North America likes the taste of green tea.
Unnecessary: Usually the Washington family married people who were socially better off than themselves, but the second marriage of George’s father was an exception.
Better: Usually the Washingtons married their social betters, but the second marriage of George’s father was an exception.
Unnecessary: In some instances, a letter can take ten days by air and six to eight weeks by ship to reach the person to whom the letter is addressed.
Better: In some instances, a letter can take ten days by air and six to eight weeks by ship to reach its intended receiver.
